this is how i’m doing: in case you were wondering…

It’s the bookmark that always betrays me. One of the main points of having a daily devotional book is to read from it each day — never much, just a page. One page, everyday, for a year and then repeat. Well the problem with this format is that it becomes VERY apparent when you’ve missed a few days or even weeks. The bookmark is exactly where I left it (which is the point of a bookmark I suppose). From today’s devotional:

“No true Christian can be habitually more engaged in the service of the world and of sin, than in the service of God. His obedience, though not perfect, is habitual.” — A.W. Tozer

I tend to be a bit of an extremist in the sense that I like things to be black and white, one or the other, all or nothing. I like rules and boundaries, I like my bosses to tell me exactly what they expect, I like clients to tell me exactly what they want. This has caused some bumps along my spiritual journey — more than bumps, more like a spiritual roller coaster of highest highs and the lowest lows. When I’m experiencing freedom from a particular sin I’m on cloud nine — It couldn’t be any better, but when I’m stumbling around in the darkness of sin I feel like anything but a child of God. Life is very black and white, but there is a lot of gray when moving from black to white — from darkness to light. Sanctification is a process that won’t end till death! Growth is a process that can only be measured over a period of time — the longer the period the more accurate it becomes.

So, sure I missed a few dozen days in my devotional this year. If the goal is to read every devotion in the book within a year, I’ve failed. But if my goal is to grow in discipline, obedience and to glean nuggets of truth then it’s too early to measure — In the next 10 years I’m certain I’ll get to those days I “missed”.

This one is for my home group guys who are taking a “MAN-cation” at the end of the month…

I just met with a student that completely made my day. Frederick is an older than average student from Ghana. I’ve met with him a few times this semester working with him to get into his major. Well, today when I revealed to him that the one thing he has been stressing over for the past few months isn’t needed to start his major (just a general requirement to graduate) he very enthusiastically exclaimed, “God is faithful!” He goes on to tell me how he had felt God telling him not to worry but he wouldn’t trust Him, and how even in our disbelief God remains faithful. What a blessing he was! We then spent the next few minutes just talking about His goodness and faithfulness — what great food for the soul. Maybe I can pay it forward and share a “meal” with someone else today.

I started reading “The Practice of the Presence of God” by Brother Lawrence — woah, this guy was something else. He, as a cook in a monestary, managed to incorporate God into everything he did eventually spending every moment focused on God. Here’s an exert from his second letter (the book is a compilation of 14 letters Brother Lawrence had written).

As for my set hours of prayer, they are simply a continuation of the same exercise. Sometimes I consider myself as a stone before a carver, whereof He is to make a statue. Presenting myself thus before God, I desire Him to make His perfect image in my soul and render me entirely like Himself. At other times, when I apply myself to prayer, I feel all my spirit lifted up without any care or effort on my part. This often continues as if it was suspended yet firmly fixed in God like a center or place of rest.

I know that some charge this state with inactivity, delusion, and self-love. I confess that it is a holy inactivity. And it would be a happy self-love if the soul, in that state, were capable of it. But while the soul is in this repose, she cannot be disturbed by the kinds of things to which she was formerly accustomed.The things that the soul used to depend on would now hinder rather than assist her.

Yet, I cannot see how this could be called imagination or delusion because the soul which enjoys God in this way wants nothing but Him. If this is delusion, then only God can remedy it. Let Him do what He pleases with me. I desire only Him and to be wholly devoted to Him.

I think I’ve tasted a little of what he’s talking about here — this peace or rest within the soul; as if my soul sat down after a long journey to rest its tired and weary feet (soles maybe?  sorry…). I’d definitely like more of those moments.

It’s been 3 1/2 months since my LASIK surgery and I’m happy to announce my vision is 20/20! After my follow up exam I treated myself to some grocery shopping at Whole Foods Market in Plano.

And now, something completely unrelated — pickup lines!